Reflections Remix (feat. Shandi)

The things you see sometimes
Shandi's post on Saturday reminded me that I needed to get this one done. OK, let's see a show of hands: How many of you are red light voyeurs? You know, you're sitting at a red light and check your six, only to find something or someone interesting in the car behind you. Yeah, thaaat's better, I THOUGHT you were!

So, I'm headed cross-town Friday after work to a housewarming party for a co-worker, and two lights into my trip I nonchalantly tip my head back to check out what's behind me. Bingo! There behind me was a nice sporty model with pleasing lines, and the girl driving the Grand Am was rather attractive as well. As I'm wearing shades, I pretend to be taking inventory of my thoughts with my head tipped back so far it gives me a very good view of the lass. 30-ish, nice complexion, luscious straight brunette hair, and she seems to be looking at me.

"Is she on to my game?" I wonder, so I don't move as that's a dead give-away that you just got nailed, you Peeper. It's a rather long light anyway, so I'm afforded the 50 cent extended show and keep my attention fixed on the smoldering flame behind me. Suddenly she tips her head to the right in a brisk snap and inserts her index finger into her ear, digging for gold. After a few cranks the finger is removed. All I can think at this point is "Hmm, interesting." So the horrifying train wreck is on, I can't look away now. I mean, I was remotely enamored after all, but the ear spooning thing raises an eyebrow too.

Now back to her wet-willied pointer, I can only imagine what that must have sounded like as she pulled her finger back out. It must have made a "phlup" sound, because something she harvested had her attention as she was now giving it the once-over with her thumb in the same manner that David Caruso might inspect a substance found at a crime scene. Unable to discern the contents resting under her fingernail, she then resorted to olfactory inspection. Yup, she stuck that finger right under her cute little nose and took a healthy whiff. WHY?! I can see if you're a guy that you might visually check your ear-grinding finger for an errant ear-hair, but for gosh sakes, a beautiful specimen like her must surely maintain her ear canals! Well, no matter, the light turns green so I have to pull away from the light.

After about a block, I notice she's still behind me. "A-ha! She likes the look of Jimmy's Foc-us from the rear!" The game is on! Sure enough, she's positioned right behind me at the next light. Whew! I'm so tired I need to rest my head back again. Let's see what she's doing now.
GAAA! Now she's picking her teeth!!!

With the same finger!!!!!!

And then, she harvested something from between her teeth, inspected it, and evidently found it edible. You know what I mean.

I'm not sure I'm going to be playing my look-at-life-through-a-2-by-8-window game in quite a while. People, learn from my mistakes, please! Some good must come from this travesty.