Saturday, January 14, 2006

There's possibly a chance. Maybe.

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Reading Erin's latest post tonight reminded me of the fun I had watching the weatherman on the local station just this evening. I really like the guy, he's pretty steady-eddy even when he's delivering news of the apocalypse from the 'Storm Center'. Sometimes I just get tired of all the BREAKING NEWS! SHOCKING! garbage all the time (good band, Garbage.) Back to tonight- he's rolling out the 5 day shortcast and I swear he says "perhaps" about 6 or 8 times in a span of just seconds. SECONDS, I TELL YOU! I think he's finally cracked under the pressure of not being able to tell what the heck's going to happen tomorrow, or in the next 10 minutes for that matter (it's a Michigan thing,) so he's peppering his weathercasts with words of doubt to allow him to weasel his percentages higher. (See, Erin? Percentages.) I wonder if he's like Jim Carrey's part in Dumb&Dumber- you know, "So you're tellin' me there's a chance." THAT kind of optimism.

To help my boy out, I hereby offer a brief list of CYA lingo in the hopes that he can more effectively cover his tracks:

  • maybe
  • mayhap
  • perchance
  • debatable
  • doubtful
  • indefinite
  • arguable
  • questionable
  • borderline
  • chancy
  • clouded (oh, the double-entendre)
  • doubtful
  • dubious
  • inconclusive
  • hazy
  • misty
  • cloudy
  • unsettled
  • unstable
  • FANTASTICAL! (for those really special storms)
Good night all. Or maybe not.

4 comments:

CozyMama said...

nice pic....I like the way Erin thinks.

Naughti Biscotti said...

I missed ya Jim. You know, I still think of you as the pirate.

Weather forcasts piss me off. I prefer my method, I walk outside. If I get wet, I figure it's a 90% chance that it's raining. There's still 10% chance it was just bird shit.

Jim said...

Erin- "used" me? That's not like me at all! Study hard, and learn up on them percentages.

Jodes- Thank you, Sunny D!

Shandi- Did you lose the sea legs yet? Ye be lucky t'not see me plunderin' fer treasure, lass. Again with the percentages! You rock!

Naughti Biscotti said...

Finally rid myself of the sea legs. Took me damn near a week. Made me a bit cranky :)