HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

And the heck with all you "Fall Festival" revisionist people. BOO!

A Crossroads?

Updates:

• Loving the new Dell E1405 DUAL CORE! It rocks, soooooooo much faster than my old e-machines. Plus, it has yet to shut itself down due to overheating. In fact, I don't think I've heard the fan get past a low hum yet.

• What else? Hmmm....... School this year is difficult for our son. He's at a special 6th-grade-only school that is quite aggressive from a homework perspective. 2-3 hours of it every night, as well as weekend homework. I don't know if I could have done it, and at times he's questioning his decision to apply for this experience, but we know he's better for it. He does too, but it's hard to see him struggle and doubt, especially amid the developing angst of pre-pubescent 6th grade life. Although, today it seems that maybe 6th grade isn't pre-pubescent any more.

• On the flip-side, our daughter is suddenly flourishing in third grade in many subjects that had been a struggle for her. Even though she misses having her brother at the same school, she gets to enjoy the experience of being a "trusted messenger"; delivering messages from former classmates who continue to attend school there.

• We're looking at having our kitchen remodeled. The project manager proposed a much grander redo than we had envisioned, clearing and re-doing half of the first floor and $60K at the same time. Um, hello? Like Matisyahu says: Chop 'em down, chop 'em down.......

• Baseball: Oh, how I wish the Detroit Tigers would've remembered their bats for the World Series. But it was nice to be blessed with the opportunity to attend the final game of the ALCS where they swept the A's.

This guy pretty much sums up the excitement that roared through the stadium after Maggs hit that wondrous home run. It was such an experience, I hope to never forget. Bless you boys, and do it again next year.


So, what's this crossroads thing about? Well......it's not you, it's me. Throughout our life together, Wifey has had plans for what parenthood and motherhood would be like as our children grew to the teenage years. Her goal was to be able to work less and be home more to have a greater presence in their lives as they navigate the treacherous waters of the Teenage Sea of No Tranquility. Over the past few years she's been able to be home as they get out of school, removing the need for after-school daycare. There's been numerous benefits to this, and it just seems right. The thing is, it's hard to say if it will continue as it has so far. The irony here is that it might be me filling that role.

Over the last seven years, her career has flourished while mine has not. She has been promoted twice, serious promotions nearly doubling her pay. I've been "promoted" once. The new title kind, with a slight pay raise. My five year plan with this company is now at seven and counting, with no change in sight. We've invested heavily in increasing staffing in many supportive functions, but not one additional person has been added to sales and there's been no turnover/dismissals above me. Not one opportunity to advance. For whatever reason, our Leader feels it is not necessary to increase sales staffing. Now there is a new manager that's been brought in from the mother ship, and while not officially credited with being the next Leader, everything seems to be falling in line as though that's the plan. Up to this point we in sales have been insulated from him as we still are directly under the Leader. The new guy, I fear that some of the moves he's made spell doom for me. You see, he's gone outside the company for a number of hires under him. He seems to favor change for change's sake. He's an elitist that feels that those above my level shouldn't interact with those on my level. And he's never been interested in what we do or how we do it. Yet, he's being allowed to make decisions that affect us, and seemingly about us. And now, some changes have been made above me and there's an opening. Good news, right? Except resumes are going to him and not our Leader. So all signs point to the decision being his to make, and if history is indicative of his plans, then he will go outside the company to fill this position regardless of the experience the current staff offers. To add insult to injury, a co-worker left recently, and although the head-count will be maintained the new person will not be doing any of the work that HAD been done by the previous employee. That work will be split between myself and another coworker. I'm not sure who to thank for that plan, but again I feel the outsider has his fingerprints all over it. Who better to make such an uninformed decision?

So, if the gods don't smile upon me as I interview for the newly opened position above me, I will have quite a mess on my hands trying to keep up with the huge burden of 50% more work to do when I already work until 7 or later many days during the six-month span I call the "busy season."

Contrast this with the reality that Wifey's doing quite well, loves her job, and they love her. She makes quite a bit more than I do, travels far less than I do, and overall just seems to be in a much better position-- even if things didn't work out for her at her current employer. She has a tremendous network of contacts both locally and nationally, while mine are spread about the nation. As our roots are here in Michigan- and here is where we want to be- it seems that again she's in the better position professionally.

As I struggle to work out the path that I'm on, the idea of me taking the role of parent-at-home crossed my mind recently. The traditionalist in me scoffed, but I did mention it to Wifey. And she said "I'd support that 100%" or something to that extent. I was floored. Did I open Pandora's box?

I think psychologically I have quite a bridge to cross before I could do it. We both come from what I deem "conventional" families: two parents, with Dad being the major bread-winner although both of our mothers were employed outside the home. Doing this would therefore be quite "unconventional". Why is it that "stay at home mom" sounds right, but "stay at home dad" does not? It's difficult to overcome the feeling of being a "failure" for not being the bread-winner (so I guess that makes me a sexist,) and I have my doubts about my abilities to be a good househusband. Although I can hold my own in the kitchen, Wifey has far superior skillz in that area. This would mean quite a change in our standard of living, and our finances would need to be much more strictly managed. Maybe I'm just making excuses in order to avoid it. A man I once worked for told me long ago that being a housewife (thus, running a home) is the toughest job on Earth, and I believe that to be true. Needless to say, I am quite conflicted about taking the role of homemaker.

It's natural to fear the unknown, to fear change. And boy, would this be a heckuva lot of both.