Thursday, July 28, 2005

Sir Charles

Better late than never, right?

Last weekend we went to a friend's place just off the shore of Lake Michigan. It was a super great time, the party was intended to be a Vinyl party so we all brought our old records from college. Unfortunately the TWO (yup, I said two) turntables that our friend brought were out of commission. One had a broken needle, and the other broke its belt just as he fired it up.

The night wasn't a total loss
as we ended up moving to another friends house which was much larger and more accomodating. They warned us that rain was coming, and after about 20 minutes of frantic activity the tent and its protective tarp were packed so everybody headed over to the alternate site. What a feast! Ribs, burgers, corn, taters, salad, fruit, brownies, cookies, beer and some great wines; is it any wonder why I slept like a poisoned puppy?

Being so close to Lake Michigan was great, too. We only had to walk about 400 paces and we were on the beach ready to build sand castles, catch footballs and cool off in the lake's refreshing 72 degree water. On Sunday we were treated to a bonus of giant waves thanks to a strong southwestern wind. While it brought more of the dreaded heat I've been complaining about, the wind churned up some great 5 footers that were great for body surfing. Unfortunately, with the wind coming in at an angle to the shoreline, a nasty rip-current was moving along the beach to the north that made it far too dangerous to swim out and catch the best waves. This let me stay out in the water the entire time to play 'Lifeguard' for the little ones. While it was cute to see the 10 year-olds holding hands and protecting the 7 year-old, it was a concern nonetheless. As it turns out, the concerns were warranted and sadly a 21 year-old man drowned at a beach 20 miles south.

Once we returned home
I caved-in to the heat and took refuge in an air-conditioned movie theater to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with my daughter. Having grown up watching Gene Wilder play Willie Wonka I was disappointed with Johnny Depp's portrayal, but the rest of the movie more than made up for it. I especially liked some of Tim Burton's modernizing twists like the pumped-up Oompa-loompa music numbers and having all the loompas portrayed by the diminutive Deep Roy was genius. There are other twists, but I will leave it to you to discover them for yourself. I don't want to spoil it for everybody.

So, plunk down a month's worth of 401K contributions and check it out for yourself. Consider the flavored cheese shakers for your popcorn an unplanned bonus just as I did. I guess I've gotta' get out more. . .

Later-

Friday, July 22, 2005

I FOUND IT!

YAY! YIPPEE! MP3 has come back to me!

The damn thing was in the pocket of my ski jacket hanging in the closet (which was covered by another coat for lack of hangers.) Using it to RIP some FOO worked great, and now I can enjoy more than 3 tracks at a time on my player (which does NOT allow uploading, so the Fookin' copyrights are safe with my player just in case Dave Grohl is wasting his time GOOGLING hisself. He probably is ogling himself considering the damn picture on the autoload player with the CD!)

I must admit: I stand corrected. I spoke in anger with my last post, it's not a one-hit CD. After listening to most of the tracks in order to decide which I wanted to load on my player, I can say that about half of it will be successful in getting airplay. If you find it for $10 at your favorite store, I'd say go buy it. That's pretty much a "thumbs-up", folks. Or an "around the world and back snap" if you're so inclined (and bless you, fellow humorist, if you are!)


~~~~~~~ <--- That's a heat wave!
It's still hotter than shite here, with this weekend climbing into the 90s with plenty of spore-fostering humidity to go with it. You can be sure that there'll be frantic calls for ozone action (or inaction as it were.) Fear not, fellow huggers and granola eaters, I will be enjoying the sun with friends, maybe frolicking in Lake Michigan, and hydrating aplenty with a lemon twist or even some limes.

You have a nice weekend. Bye now. Buh-bye!

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Boo Foo! Boo-hoo two-

Today is a collection of bitchings.

First off
, I need to call Foo Fighters onto my carpet for some bitching. Being a fair and responsible member of society, I went to a local store and purchased their latest release "In Your Honor". Now, I'm a big fan of MP3 players, especially those using Flash memory (no skipping!) so my plan was to rip the tracks and load them onto my player. Except one small problem, the Fookers have gone overboard with copyright protection. In a CD player, no problem. In a computer, it installs software to manage copyrights, loads "keys" from an unknown source, initially plays using Media Player (garbage, people!) and does that in an annoying full screen mode complete with the Foo boys smiling at you from a large picture. It doesn't stop here, for the CD will not play on your PC unless you load the copyright software, and the licensing language (as well as the language used on a support website) is confusing to say the least about what information may be gathered, and how it is reported.

It gets worse: the software allows the music to be ripped, (in fact, the intrusive full-screen interface makes it easy to do) but it only rips to WMA files and not MP3, so it isn't guaranteed to work with ALL players. In my opinion, WMA is an inferior format. To top it all off, the software seemingly only allows you to put 3 tracks onto your player. This is from a readme file on the CD:

  • "The Standard "Check-In - Check-Out" Process: With Cd3 Technology, you have the functionality to easily access your new digital tracks for enjoyment on your portable digital devices. You have the capability to "check-out" up to three tracks at a time. Simply "check back in" the tracks you have out to make 3 more selections available. Thank you for your purchase of this "expanded experience" CD. We hope you have as much fun playing it as we had putting it together for you."


What kind of bullshit is that? Just because I choose to listen to the CD I purchased through a smaller device, they're going to tell me I can only put 3 songs on it at a time?!? And I will have to check songs in and out like I'm at a friggin' library? They can kiss my a$$, for that's all they're after it it's gone too far. On top of that, The Best of You is the only agreeable song I've heard (although I haven't completely listened to the 2nd CD yet.) So I'm out $14, and for a crappy one-hit piece of junk. F[_]CK YOU, FOO! Who are you kidding? Are you telling me that as burnouts in the 80s you didn't copy tapes, tape off the radio, etc. in order to make your own compilations? How does today's technology change that? The speed is immaterial, I've paid for the music, and should be able to listen to it in whatever format/method that I choose. This is my first FOO purchase, and will be my last. FOOls.

Next up: My old MP3 player is missing in action. It was a smaller unit (256MB)but it had one great feature, a Mic In port which allowed you to record whatever you wanted (perhaps clips from your favorite movie?) Even though we have a larger unit, it doesn't have the ability to record on the fly. I've looked everywhere I can think of, do you have it??

Finally, this summer is a scorcher and I am ready for the heat to back off. Flame on!

Friday, July 15, 2005

Reminder of Violence; or I was violated

I was checking out Jason's wife's-
blog and she was talking about a magical spa treatment that made her want to go Divinyls all over herself. This got me thinking about my first ever massage. (Well, my first "Professional" massage anyways. The "friends with benefits" kind back in college don't count. Well those counted, don't get me wrong. . . ah, I'll shut up now!)

My first massage experience wasn't such a luxurious thing, although it WAS at what I thought is a very nice spa- Mandalay Bay in Vegas. Wifey wanted to get a couples massage, but those were all booked so we got separate ones. The only thing left I could get was a 'deep tissue' massage.

My masseur was Bam-Bam hisself, no joke! He stood about 5'6", and probably needed a size 56 jacket or something obscene like that. After applying liberal amounts of oil to my back (I thought this was a safe area for a 'deep tissue' massage) he started kneading my tenderloins. I was finding it hard to breathe, but Bam-Bam was only warming up at this point. His next trick was to jab his elbow just to one side of the spine way up by the shoulder blade and then drag it all the way to the associated butt-tock. Now I understood two things: THIS is what all the damn oil was for, and without a doubt I was no longer capable of breathing.

Bam-Bam must've been a caring soul, for he felt it necessary to inquire about my well-being. "M-fffine!" I grunted, trying to sound masculine and unaffected by his brute strength. The only problem was my back was literally quivering, and this was in no way an erotic kind of thing. I should have never tried to feign indifference, because Bam-Bam decided the other back strap needed immediate attention. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse- after all, Bam-Bam had made mincemeat out of both sides so what else was there- Bam-Bam dove in with both guns this time. I think the arch in my back was a dead give-away because he stopped and starting talking some mumbo-jumbo about "toxins releasing" and "drinking plenty of water to flush them out" and how that would be better for me. As it turns out, my time was up. Geez, I'd been assaulted and violated and damn water was going to save me?

The saving grace was that as a paid guest of the spa, we now had the run of the place. So, I immediately set to assuaging my new aches and pains by visiting the steam room and then a nice long soak in their lavish Greco-Roman bath; a lagoon-sized jacuzzi with multiple cascades, it was surrounded by huge cushy lounge chairs. And many large men were asleep in them.

"This is where husbands go to die" I thought to myself as I settled into a lounger, ready to start slugging the water and "detoxify" myself. Paradise indeed.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

WE HAD A BALL!

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What a week!
-Nearly 1,000 miles.
-3 destinations.
-2 family visitors stopped by for a few days.
-S'mores.
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-Campfires.
-Pig roast.
-Fireworks.
-Fire trucks!
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-Wind & waves!
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-And of course, sunsets!
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This week has been grueling, but thankfully shortened greatly by the Independence Day holiday. After an action-packed vacation it's back to finishing the deck started Father's Day weekend, so my nights have been filled and a steamer is coming for tomorrow (anything over 85 degrees is a steamer in Michigan.)

Thanks all for checking on the place while we were gone. You RULE!